QUESTIONS: Yahtzee! Just roll the dice

Fri September 19 2008

Come again with that UCLA marketing department decree, something having to do with the football monopoly in LosAngeles being officially over? Is that ... read more

Come again with that UCLA marketing department decree, something having to do with the football monopoly in LosAngeles being officially over? Is that a reference to the fact that the Bruins can go around the Monopoly board backwards 59 times and still somehow be comfortable landing on Tennessee Avenue? Or perhaps the bored game they're really into during a Brookside tailgate party outside the Rose... read more

Come again with that UCLA marketing department decree, something having to do with the football monopoly in LosAngeles being officially over? Is that a reference to the fact that the Bruins can go around the Monopoly board backwards 59 times and still somehow be comfortable landing on Tennessee Avenue? Or perhaps the bored game they're really into during a Brookside tailgate party outside the Rose Bowl this fine morning is something closer to Chutes and Ladders? Which whacked-out Pac-10 football teams secretly defected to the Mid-American Conference over the past couple of days so they'd have a better chance of avoiding facing another Mountain West nonconference opponent? Although, wouldn't staying in the P10 be a safer bet for an above-.500 winning season and possible rematch against a MWCer in the Vegas Bowl? Seriously, what does Charlie Weis' personal trainer realistically do to get him back on the road to recovery with a torn-up knee? Rent out the Shamu tank at Sea World and lower him in with a forklift? Or has Weis lifted his fork once too many times already and, by the time he hobbles into the Coliseum in late November, he'll be coaching the team with blog postings from WakeUpTheEchoes.com? East Freakin' Carolina? Is that even in the lower 48? Just to make sure we understand the concept of this NFL fantasy league stuff, if we were to pick a quarterback for our squad this weekend, you're telling us that we'd have better success going with JoeFlacco, Matt Ryan, Kyle Orton, J.T. O'Sullivan, Gus Frerotte, Trent Edwards or Tyler Thigpen than with Tom Brady, Vince Young or Carson Palmer? Does it matter which game Ed "Hercules" Hochuli is prematurely officiating? When does the NFL start handing out black circle "No.12 TB" patches for all its teams to wear the rest of this season? Why do the Chargers even bother playing out the rest of their schedule? Man-Ram, if not your NLMVP, at least the most valuable L.A. rental this side of a Donald Sterling Corporation price-gouged loft in Brentwood? If Jeff Kent hobbles over into the manager's office sometime this weekend and says he's ready to reclaim his roster spot and turn a few double plays for the postseason cause, does JoeTorre suddenly claim deafness? When does NBA commish David Stern come out and lambaste Michael Beasley (the heralded No. 2 overall pick by Miami) for finally fessing up to his part in the rookie symposium knuckleheadedness (which finally resulted in a $50,000 fine) the same way he did with former Kansas teammates Mario Chalmers (a 34th overall pick) and Darrell Arthur (a 27th overall pick)? Does Gilbert Arenas have any knee cartilage left? Know where we can get one of them all-square, diamond-studded U.S. Ryder Cup polos? read less